Chewing Bones

A short reflection on being present

From a recent journal entry…

This morning I feel within myself.
Sufficient. Contained. At peace (well, at least relatively so).

How to stay?
How to resist the trails that lead me away from myself?

The events of the world beckon.
My insecurities beckon.
My phone beckons.

I could spend hours in their gravitational fields. Days. My life.
They are my favorite bones to chew.

But to do so is to slip into abstraction; to live a step removed from what is real, what is alive; which is here, in this not-yet-interpreted, ethereal moment in front of me. This moment even before I’ve decided chair is chair, leaf is green or tea is hot, when creation unfolds namelessly, three-dimensionally and freely. This moment that reveals my worries and daydreams to be flat and lifeless by comparison.

Awake in this moment, the world is alive…fluid, ever-new and wonder full.
Lost in thought, the world becomes background, unnoticed and unnecessary.

Awake in this moment, I am alive. I sense my own pulsing. I am aware of my self, being alive. Lost in thought, I become an observer, a bystander; no longer in the movie. Just watching it, planning it, critiquing it.

Awake in this moment, the Holy is alive. And only in this moment is a true encounter with the Holy ever possible. Lost in thought, the burning bush is missed while I’m busy contemplating burning bushes.

Can I find the courage (or is it trust?) to put down my bones and lift my head.
Sniff the air of the living world around me.

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