From "I have to" to "I get to"

Wisdom for life as a bubble

The other day I was bemoaning all the things I needed to get done. My car was due for an emissions test (still is), I had to get our tax documents together (finally did that), my new glasses were ready for pick up (yes, I now wear glasses), the kitchen was a mess and on and on. You know how it goes.

But when I heard myself saying, “Ugh, I have to get a post written for Substack,” I paused. Wait a minute…I love to write. When it’s not going well, I want to pull out the little hair I still have left, but even then, I love it.

So instead of, “I have to,” I tried saying, “I get to.”

Now I know that sounds like advice you might pick up at Hobby Lobby. But sometimes trite makes right, and I have to admit I felt better; like a little corner of my grumpy heart opened and some gratitude slipped in. Maybe even a little joy. “That’s right.” I thought, “I get to do this. The truth is I’m lucky to write these posts.”

But that’s an easy one. What about all those other things? No one would mistake getting an emissions test for a privilege. Organizing the taxes and cleaning the kitchen are not things we’re ‘lucky’ to do.

Or are they?

I mean, slow down a minute. Let’s think about this. Isn’t it actually the case that everything we do is a privilege? Isn’t it deeply true that all of this is a ‘get to’ situation, especially compared to, well, not getting to?

I know our world feels pretty scary right now. And I know on a personal level, things can get pretty awful sometimes. But it’s still a gift to be here. And certainly, we can wish for and work towards making life better. But between a bad day and no day at all, I’ll take bad every time.

Because there’s a preciousness within each moment that is independent of how well that moment is going. And I don’t need to remind you, this being alive thing is a limited-time-offer and your ticket may be stamped for a shorter trip than you think. If you don’t like being stuck in traffic or taking out the trash, well, some day you won’t have to. But you also won’t get to.

Some day we won’t get to stub our toe, or argue with our spouse, or try to make our country better. It’s all going be over, and more quickly than we probably think. Our lives are soap bubbles, here one minute and gone the next.

But while they last, we get to see, sip, and savor the world around us. We get to laugh with, listen to, and love the people in our lives. We get to weep, worry and wonder what all this might mean. We get to be alive. We are alive, my fellow bubbles! Think of the countless souls that came before us who would give anything to have just one more day.

This day. This day when you get the chance to think differently about all the things you have to do.

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